The meaning was clear: this child is beyond help. There are others who can be helped.
"Yes, absolutely!" I answered, with more assurance than I felt.
Truthfully, I had no idea how we would help her. I knew where we would start, and I knew we had a lot of knowledge, but frankly, I was unsure what she was capable of. I was unsure of what I was capable of.
I knew she was ours, so I HAD TO help her. There HAD TO be a way. So I answered with more enthusiasm than I felt.
I felt a lot of fear that day, after we met the wild little girl who was clearly locked very deeply in her own world. I don't know what I imagined her to be like, but this wasn't it. I wasn't disappointed - I learned long ago to let go of my expectations of what my children would be like & free myself to enjoy who God made them to be. I knew in my heart the moment we committed, before we knew anything about her, that her needs would be significant. But wow. This was actually a lot.
But I said yes, without a doubt, that I could help her. She was my child. I've heard lots of labels for my sassypants, both from her country of birth and highly paid specialists here. Most of the labels have been scary, but I mostly ignore them. I've always been the type that has a NEED to do what is deemed impossible. Maybe God knew that question needed to be voiced to me, because my instant response mentally would be "challenge accepted!"
So, day by day, little by little, we tackle the hard work that goes into undoing 6 yrs without language and learning. We tackle it slower than most, because she learns very uniquely. I have a lot of knowledge but I'm not a professional, just a mom taking it one day at a time, teaching as we go. I think that Sassypants mentally responded "challenge accepted" somewhere along the way too. She certainly seems to enjoy surpassing expectations. She is the rock star here, not me. Her & Jesus, who orchestrated this whole thing. ❤
This journey has been hard. I have often doubted my ability to be everything she needs. I have lost a lot of myself along the way, but I've also learned along the way that I will gladly sacrifice myself to help my daughter find herself. She has both broken me and put me together.
So, on to the update... for those who are wondering, THIS is the picture of unteachable.
She needs lots of help (less each time!) and she always sneaks a bite of the food, but look at her there - cooking! (For the record, I usually steal a bite too. I might be enabling that habit. Oops.) ;-)
That pic was right after tasting the pizza sauce. She's not amused by my picture taking though. ;-)
Dinner. Made by Sassypants. I guess we figured out that whole learning thing.
That first day I wondered what her future would look like. If I asked an expert even now, they would tell me independence is unlikely. But we know already what my response would be, right?
Maybe I'm crazy to say I'm excited to see how much independence she will have in the future; but then again, I just ate dinner prepared by the little girl who was too far lost to be helped.