15 Miles From Nowhere

Finally, a long overdue update on where we are in this adoption... We haven't updated a lot, because this part of the adoption is pretty boring, but very busy behind the scenes. The first step in any adoption is getting a home study done. This is where we hire a social worker to look into our background, finances, home, etc, and determine if we are prepared for another adoption. This process was daunting for our first two adoptions. The first time was, well, nerve wracking because it was the first. The second time was nerve wracking because it was the first international adoption, so very different. This time has been much easier, because it was very similar to the last time, so we knew what to expect. The home study takes awhile, but a lot of that time is waiting - for background checks, for the social worker to have time to come here, for her to write and edit it, etc. Our home study is currently complete and being reviewed by our agency, which is great! We expect to have it ...

Today marks two years since I picked this little spitfire up from the institution. I almost can't imagine her as the little girl in this picture... V's listing picture The girl that we met that first day was deeply locked in her own world. She had constant tics. She had no language. Zero. She is profoundly deaf and had never heard or seen language. She had the self help skills of an infant. We were warned she may never learn. She was a scary choice, but she was God's choice for us, so we bravely made that choice. Well, she learned. She's growing, changing, and learning. Her tics are gone. She's calm and smart and interactive. A couple of weeks home About a month home She's beautiful, vibrant, and sassy. She's smart. Yes, she has a significant intellectual disability, but she can out smart all of us. She figures things out. Language is hard, but it's coming. We stopped counting at 100 signs. She's learning to have simple...

My favorite memory from adopting our sassy girl - as written a few months after it happened, but being shared now - almost 2 years later. Enjoy. :-) When you start the adoption process, you spend a lot of time thinking about the moment you're going to meet your child. It all boils down to that moment. Maybe it's picture perfect for some people - I guess it has to be, since there seems to be plenty of videos circulating the internet, but I'll venture a guess that it's not that way for most people.  Anyway, I digress. So here's our story. I was nervous, in a time zone 8 hours different from home, jetlagged, and I didn't sleep much at all the night before. Our day started at 6am when our facilitator picked us up for the drive. If my memory is correct, the drive from our apartment to our daughter's region was about 2 hours. And guess what? I get carsick! I honestly didn't even think it would be an issue because I rarely get carsick at home - the roa...

Ahhh... summer is ending. I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. On one hand, I will miss my kiddos when they go back to school. On the other hand... WILL THEY EVER GO BACK SO I CAN FINALLY GET THIS HOUSE CLEAN AND SIT DOWN FOR 30 SECONDS!?!?!?! I have 2 kids with disabilities. They have nice, thick IEPs (because of course we want them to have lots of goals so they make lots of progress, right?) The staff has probably spent too much of their own summer preparing for my complicated children. During the school year I will spend entirely too much of my time working with the school on these things. In short - a whole team of us dedicates a whole lot of time and energy into making sure these kids are learning, are happy, and are integrated into the school as best we know how. I'm eternally grateful for this opportunity. Sometimes in this laser focus, we get one thing wrong. And it's THE ONE THING that is most important. I have kids with disabilities, not d...

In this whole "parenting a child with a disability" world, I am a strong mom. I am the mom who boldly declares that my child is "fearfully and wonderfully made", even after cleaning poop off the walls for the 5th time that week. I'm the mom that gives staring strangers a smile or eye roll and moves on without them phasing me. I'm the mom that professionals forget to sugar coat things with. I'm the mom that doesn't need much support, I'm fine. So yesterday I was out with my Bug, who by all accounts is mostly an average 18 month old - except she's in a 7 year old's body and has some other fun complications. So, we're in the big, fancy city 4 1/2 hours from our piece of paradise 15 miles from nowhere. She's tired, out of her comfort zone, just finished a doctor visit (which she hates), and I'm currently dragging her through as many errands as possible. Gotta get everything done while we're in the city! She's not hap...

Wow. Today marks one year since V left the gates of the orphanage forever. On one hand, it's hard to believe it's been one year. On the other hand, it's hard to imagine that she's only been in our home for a year - she is so firmly interwoven into the fabric of our lives, we can't believe we ever lived without her. This has been hands down one of the hardest years of my life. It has also been one of the most beautiful. If you're thinking - "She can't complain about it being hard, she CHOSE this life", you can just stop that train of thought right there. You're right. I chose this. It doesn't make it less hard. I'm not a saint, I don't have endless energy, and I don't have all of the answers. I'm just an ordinary, flawed mom who dared say yes to God, no matter what it cost. That doesn't make me any less exhausted, but it does make me enjoy the beauty along the way. One year ago today I left the orphanage with a scared...

It has been a long time since I've blogged. Our sweet princess V has been home just about 6 months now, and things are going incredibly well. She is blossoming, we all adore her, and life is good. I'll update more on her later. Despite how incredibly well everything has gone, this has been one of the most exhausting times in our life. There are many factors, but it boils down to the fact that even incredibly amazing change is still stressful. About the 5 month mark I became exhausted. A lot of it had to do with the fact that I made several trips with V within a short time period, and had to leave the other kids at home. Another big part was the sheer weight of all of the medical and educational decisions that we've made in the last 6 months. I was done. I needed rest. I was worn. On the way home from the most recent trip, the song Worn came on. I thought - "Oh man, I need this song! I'm so worn!" I love this song. I've felt so worn many times, and it...