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How far we've come

Last night, I was sitting on the couch, and my precious L, my princess, walked across the room to where I was sitting and crawled up into my lap. It led me to start reflecting on just how far we've come in the last 5 years. While we have made a purposeful decision to seek out a child with special needs for this adoption, our initial plunge into special needs parenting was quite accidental. We have all come a long way since then.

Our princess L is 5 1/2 now. Initially there were no signs that she might have special needs - no risk factors, no alarming tests, just the realization at about 6 months old that she wasn't developing properly. Up until that point in my life, I was very focused on worldly success and achievements - on DOING. I thought you made your impact on this world by what you did.

Princess L didn't do much for a long time. She was over a year old when she sat up for the first time, close to 3 when she began walking. It was a long road. She wasn't very responsive to us for a very long time - she didn't care when we left her in the church nursery, she didn't reach for us when we went to pick her up - she was in her own world. She has gradually come into our world, but it has been a long process. Sometime in the last year, she has started seeking out affection. We waited so long for it, her affection is the greatest treasure in the world. So last night, as I sat there with her, soaking it up, I reflected on how far we've come. She has made so many incredible strides, but it's not really her that I was thinking about - it's me. This little 5 year old princess has turned my view of life on it's head. Last night, doing something completely ordinary to the average person, I had a profound thought: I used to think that the way to impact the world around you is by DOING, but the reality is, it's about who you ARE.

Think on that for a minute.

You don't change the world by DOING, you change it by BEING.

Sure, we need to DO good, but the doing comes from who we ARE, not the other way around. We can free ourselves from the American way of constantly needing to GO and DO and DO SOME MORE if we can really grasp this thought. We can rest in the fact that we are enough - without the perfect house, car, manicure, career... we are still enough. We can just BE, and let the love flow out from there. Our DOING needs to be a reflection of our BEING. It really lifts a weight off my shoulders to know that it's okay that I'll never be able to do it all, and I can still impact the world around me. God has a plan for each of us. Sometimes it may not seem as big as you want it to be, but remember, it's not always about how much you DO. Sometimes it's about who you ARE in your every day life.

The value of a life isn't measured by IQ or ability. It isn't measured by achievements or worldly standards. God has a purpose for every life.

I am so thankful to have such a precious princess that radiates love and goodness, and is such an incredible teacher. She doesn't even need words.

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