15 Miles From Nowhere

The grief seems to hit out of nowhere. Most of the time it lays dormant, but some days it just takes my breath away. This is the grief of the special needs mom If you have known me very long, you know I am FIRMLY planted in the camp of thinking that my children with disabilities were perfectly made. I have quoted Psalm 139:14 a million times. I just don't believe God makes mistakes. And yes, it gets philosophically deeper and more complex than that, but at the end of the day, I hold fast that people with disabilities are not broken & God has a plan for them. But some days I grieve. Sometimes this plan is not easy for me to understand. Some days this particular picture of "fearfully and wonderfully made" Is. Not. What. I. Want. There are days I want off this path and on the path where my kids are all honor students. I don't want to spend the next 30 years changing diapers, but I might. I long to have conversations with my daughters. I don't want to navi