15 Miles From Nowhere

"Are you sure you can help her?" We were asked. The meaning was clear: this child is beyond help. There are others who can be helped. "Yes, absolutely!" I answered, with more assurance than I felt. Truthfully, I had no idea how we would help her. I knew where we would start, and I knew we had a lot of knowledge, but frankly, I was unsure what she was capable of. I was unsure of what I was capable of. I knew she was ours, so I HAD TO help her. There HAD TO be a way. So I answered with more enthusiasm than I felt.  I felt a lot of fear that day, after we met the wild little girl who was clearly locked very deeply in her own world. I don't know what I imagined her to be like, but this wasn't it. I wasn't disappointed - I learned long ago to let go of my expectations of what my children would be like & free myself to enjoy who God made them to be. I knew in my heart the moment we committed, before we knew anything about her, that her

Whew! The last few months have been crazy busy with fundraisers! Last weekend we just wrapped up the second huge garage sale, and we are exhausted! I crunched numbers today and our financial need is down to $10,500! That is a huge number, but it is less than 1/3 of the total cost, so that is awesome!! Our first trip should be the end of July, so we are nearing the home stretch of fundraising as well as the adoption process. That is so encouraging! We are so thankful for all of the love and support thus far. Our local community has been especially amazing! Everything we have done has turned out well! Our long distance friends & family probably wonder why we're never fundraising, but we've done so much local stuff that we haven't done as much online.  That is awesome! :-) We have also been blessed with 2 matching grants and some super generous donations, which helped us meet both! That made a huge dent! (& to be clear - any size donation is super generous in my bo

You know, I really hate fundraising for something for myself (like this adoption.) I have many times just wished we had enough money to afford it on our own. But you know - in the months since we shared our commitment to our family, church, and community, we have seen people come alongside us in amazing ways. We have seen our tribe rise up and support us, even people who really don't know us that well. We have seen how the people in our circle & our greater community value the lives of these children. If we had been able to pay for this all ourselves, we would have missed this. If we could have afforded this adoption we would have probably forever missed knowing exactly how amazing our friends, family, church, and community are. I am convinced now more than ever that this place of overwhelm is where the magic happens. God called us out into this place of overwhelm - this place where we are so out of our depth that we HAD to have a miracle. We went. (I'll admit, we whine

I hate fundraising for my own adoption, I really do. I just want to be able to write a check and bring these kids home. A little part of me feels like I'm begging people for money. A little part feels like it's my responsibility and maybe I shouldn't ask my friends and family for help. I have a million doubts about fundraising, but at the end of the day, I think of kids stuck in institutions, and I press on. The kids need me more than I need my pride.  I know deep down that it's okay for people to come together to bring these boys home. I know that it allows the story to ripple out and touch more people, but I still don't necessarily like the exercise of repeatedly humbling myself and asking for help. For the last three months I've had a list of fundraisers rolling around in my head, and I've been working on nailing down dates for them all, and coming up with an overall plan to get us funded. It has been a daunting, overwhelming task. Every time I see

I sit here in this place of radical obedience to God's call - where my entire life is laid out on the altar for what He has called us to do, and the thoughts whir... Here's the thing about radical faith that you don't realize until you dive in over your heads - this is a holy place. This place where I can't possibly finish this on my own, where God HAS TO show up, it's a holy place. It's a place that can make you want to turn around, walk away, and do something sane with your life; but it's also a place that can drive you to your knees. This place can show you God in a way you've never seen Him. All of the sudden you NEED Him. I live a comfortable American life. How many times do I need God? Sure, I need His grace and love every day, but when was the last time I needed Him to handle the logistics of my daily life? It's not very often. My life is pretty smooth. But this place - He HAS TO show up or these kids aren't coming home. It isn't e

I have a confession. Sometimes it's hard for me to actually comprehend how much God loves me. It's hard for me to really truly understand why He chooses to love such an imperfect human. I don't deserve it. And don't quote the bible to me please - I know what it says. Comprehending that deep in my soul is different than reading it. Not long ago my husband and I attended a prayer conference with some members of our church. The worship there was the most amazing experience of my life. In the midst of this worship we sang a song that I had never heard before, called "Reckless Love." Music speaks to me often, but this time was so powerful - it finally clicked. As I sang, I saw this exact moment in my mind: This moment sums up so much. It was the beginning of a little girl accepting her daddy's love. I've heard repeatedly that adoption is gospel in action. I always brushed it off, but now I see it. Adopting V was reckless. That daddy in the pic